


Majyyks And Miracles

by Maztermo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Alternative Universe - Hogwarts, Humanstuck, Multi, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 12:18:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12770907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maztermo/pseuds/Maztermo
Summary: Jade Harley has never left her island in her whole life but after her and her friends receive invitations to join a school for majyyk, she has to step out of her comfort zone and learn a bit more than high-school mathematics. And what happens when there's some cherub lore added to the mix?Ooooh, majyyks!





	1. White Letters

The sound of the plane landing on the grass outside jumps you to your feet. The heavily stuffed suitcases drag behind you on old and rusted wheels as you race down the stairs, nearly falling down them in the process.

You rush towards the plane in excitement and very quickly throw your bags inside.

Right now, you are freaking the fuck out. In a good way though!

Today, you’re finally leaving your isolated island to go to school. Well, it’s a bit more like a magical wonderland than an actual school, you’re pretty sure that they won’t teach the basics like maths and chemistry.

You’ve been planning this trip for literal months ever since you and your friends have seen visions of it in the clouds of their dreams, only to shortly receive a letter of invitation (you’re still a bit annoyed that it was all in white) to a school you’re sure has only been picked for the people with the most potential and piqued for the most potentially powerfully propers in which to partake! Particularly for people with unparalleled potential for majyyk, witchcraft and wizardry without any of that ‘magic’ bullshit, one would wonder who would invent such wondrously idiotic garbage and waste a waking witch’s time.

Puffing quite loudly, you turn around to see your favourite dog. He's panting loudly and sticking out his bright green tongue.

You wave goodbye to Bec, dear sweet beloved Bec and you give him a farewell pat, followed by a so long belly rub. His fur is so soft from the rigorous brushing this morning and the light of the sun in combination with his pure white body is almost blinding. Despite his scheduled bath, it's clear that he's been digging for bones again and probably started playing in the shallow pond near your house as his paws are wet and dripping. You lower your eyelids in annoyance.

But you love him anyway.

“A-HEM,” the pilot clears his throat loudly, “Hurry up.”

“Alright! Just a sec,” you groan in response, turning your head slightly but laying your eyes on Bec.

He stands up on all four paws and pants excitedly, wagging his tail adorably. As you stand up to get inside, Bec starts to whimper and sits back down.

“You be a good dog,” you smile with tears coming into your eyes, “best friend.”

Bec nods slightly in understanding and barks once to wish you farewell. You embrace him one last time even if he doesn't understand human sentiment. You know he's going to be okay but it's so hard to say goodbye anyway. You bury your face in his fur and kiss him.

“Such a goddamn drama queen, Jesus Christ,” the pilot grunts and pulls the door down. You fold your arms and huff, quirking your lip up in slight frustration. Once you sit down in the seat, you take off your large rounded glasses and clean the lenses with a dark blue screen wiper.

Bec can handle himself, he’s a smart dog. Sometimes, you believe he’s even smarter than you which, while it may be worrying to some, brings extreme comfort to you. He really was your best friend, it's okay you tell yourself. You wipe off the tears on your cheeks and smile, placing your glasses back on your face.

“Hey, girl,” the pilot interrupts your thoughts, “your dog’s actually pretty fuckin’ weird,”

“Really?” you ask, your tone has only dropped every time you talk to this guy. Who does he think he is anyway?

"What do you mean?"

“I dunno, did you maybe not see the bitch teleport behind you when you showed up to the plane?”

“Bec is a boy!” you correct while adjusting your glasses, “and yes, he does that sometimes.”

“Oh man, I thought I’d have to prep you for that school but I guess you already know about the weirdness if you think your dog having a neon green tongue and the ability to teleport is fuckin’ normal.”

You knit your eyebrows together and open your suitcase to take out a book. It’s a big book on essential knowledge for high-school mathematics and sciences, not that you ever went to preschool, kindergarten, primary school or middle school but it’s good to get caught up before you are thrusted into a school about majyyk, not a proper curricular system. Because heaven forbid a school actually teach important things.

Ugh, you just need to chill. Maybe looking through messages you missed and most likely won’t get back to for several hours will cool your jets. You take out your phone and look through your list of Chums.

Perhaps you're in the mood for something cool. Think coolkid, think chillmaster, think cool as ice yet hot as fire.

Think Dave motherfucking Strider.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

TG: yo

TG: jade

TG: you on

TG: clearly not

TG: anyway i was wondering about the whole house thing

TG: how does all that shit work

TG: like am i going to be stuck with a bunch of nerds if i myself am a nerd

TG: pffft who am i kidding

TG: im gonna fucking drag everyone else with sick magics or whatever the shit theyre called

TG: rose thinks im gonna be in a nerd class

TG: fuck no ima gonna smack all those pussies in blue

TG: blues not even a cool color

TG: i mean

TG: technically it is but thats not the point

TG: cool colors are like red

TG: and yellow

TG: but not black

TG: no that would be in edgy losers category

TG: those fuckers would be like

TG: oh god just imagining them being with magic haha

TG: theyre like

TG: another level of terrible

TG: imagine them just using spells to write edgy poetry

TG: and concocting new spells to change their hairstyle

TG: which would just be died pitch fuckin black

TG: maybe some purple or red on the tips

TG: i dunno

TG: what was i saying again

TG: oh yeah

TG: look out hogswat

TG: the new kids are in town and ready to fuck up so much shit

TG: bitches wont be ready for the four of us

TG: and by four of us

TG: i really mean i cant wait to see how john will be teased in magic school

TG: i mean there isnt much worse than beaver boy

TG: dorkwad

TG: bucktoothed wonder

TG: etc

TG: when you get back online txt me

TG: im waiting to be picked up now

TG: aaand im gone

TG: see ya there

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

 

You smile at the seemingly endless amount of text he can type on a phone. It’s almost impressive, if it weren’t for the fact that Rose can type almost just as fast and uses punctuation and proper grammar.

Speaking of which, you wonder how she’s doing. Your last conversation with her wasn’t exactly exciting but there’s a new notification and it doesn’t hurt to remember context.

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

TT: Hello Jade.

GG: hey rose!

TT: I understand you must be busy right now, boarding your flight or packing or what have you.

GG: its fine, im just packing the last couple of things :p

GG: so what’s up?

TT: To be honest, I think Dave may be a bit nervous about this new school. He’s been non-stop rambling to John and I about houses and other mindless bullshit for the past hour or so.

TT: I’m wondering if he’s claimed you as the next victim for insistant and potentially anxiety induced red text.

GG: are you trying to psychoanalyse dave again?

GG: dont you get tired of all that?

TT: Yes, I am.

TT: And no, not really.

GG: :/

TT: I assume you’re excited about the flight?

GG: hell yeah!!

GG: im going to be leaving this island for the first time of course im excited!

TT: Will Bec be fine by himself?

TT: Do I need to randomly toss out balls of yarn every day to keep him entertained?

GG: he can do fine on his own

GG: im more worried about your cat

GG: casper?

TT: Jaspers.

GG: oh sorry!! D:

TT: Don’t worry about it.

TT: And anyway, he’s doing just fine as well.

TT: One might say he’s in a

GG: oh shit i forgot he was dead DD:!!!!

TT: Better place.

GG: rose im so sorry i forgot

TT: It’s alright, I forget things too.

TT: Think nothing of it.

GG: :(

TT: Aw, don’t give me those.

TT: I’d offer to send a video hug but that would be pointless as my train is nearly here.

GG: youre taking a train to catch a train?

TT: And you’re taking a plane to catch the same train.

TT: John’s driving there and who knows what method of transport Dave’s going to use.

TT: I’m willing to bet that it has nothing to do with his Bro.

GG: i hope he gets here safely

TT: Yeah.

TT: Me too.

GG: oh!

GG: my planes here so i wont be able to talk for another three hours

TT: Alright then.

TT: Take care, Harley.

GG: and you too Lalonde :p

 

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

 

As nosy as she can be about personal life sometimes, you really do enjoy talking to her. She’s such a good friend too.

 

“Hey kid,” the pilot turns to say something but it already irks you before you know what, “you can sit up the front if ya want. I don’t care, just make sure you’re wearing your seatbelt before we’re off the ground.”

 

You hesitate. Sitting up the front with him? Not exactly ideal if he keeps talking to you like this. But then again, this seat’s got a busted seatbelt so there’s not much choice anyway.

 

You slouch to the front and plop down in the passenger seat but keep your body as far as physically possible.

 

“Aight, no talkin’ or I’m throwing you off this shitbucket,” he threatens before turning on the turbines to take off.

 

You hum a groan and turn your attention back to your phone. What a grump.

 

TT: I know you’ve already left at this point but I just wanted to add something for you to read when we arrive.

TT: Dave’s updated me that he ran away from home and packed the bare minimum with him so I hope you’re willing to share clothes with him.

TT: Shit, wrong person.

TT: But I guess you can lend him clothes if you wish.

TT: My apologies, this was originally meant for John.

TT: Have a nice flight and see you soon.

You bite your lips and turn off your phone. Dave ran away from home just to catch a train? God, this surprises you yet you feel like you fully expected it. You hope he’s doing okay.

  


An hour goes past with not a word on your behalf although the pilot keeps swearing under his breath. From what his rants have left, you gather his name is Something-starting-with-an-S Slick, he doesn’t get paid enough for this shit, his significant other is apparently kind of a bitch and he would do anything just to stab again.

 

He’s starting to worry you just a little.

 

In between breaks of rambling to himself, he’s screaming at people over the walkie-talkie. It makes it incredibly hard to read with him practically screeching but at this point, you’re too afraid to ask him to stop.

 

 

There’s a break for half an hour, just thirty minutes of silence between the two of you. It beautiful, it’s glorious.

 

It’s incredibly awkward.

 

“So,” he starts to break the silence after a grueling couple of minutes of him clearing his throat, “what’s up with you?”

 

“Excuse me?” you reply. The nerve of this guy, honestly.

 

“Y’know, majyyk fancy pants shit. What’s your thing?” he clarifies with one hand on the wheel and waving around the other. You suspect that he’s not really a licensed pilot.

 

“Wait, how do you know about this majyyk thing anyway?” you ask.

 

“I’ve been doing this same shit for six years now, you tend to pick up the trend of thirteen year-old kids going to a train station for the exact same fucking reason each time,” he sounds slightly less angry than before, but still pissed for whatever reason. He drags his hand over the left side of his face and it’s only now you realise he has an eyepatch covering his left eye.

 

“Where’d you get the eyepatch?” you ask, almost feeling sad for some reason.

 

“I’m askin’ the questions, not you,” he growls.

 

Yup, there goes any sympathy.

 

“To answer your question, I’ve found out that I can make some things smaller and bigger at my will,” you say with folded arms in front of your chest.

 

“Ohh, you’s a space bitch.”

 

“I’m a what?” the fuck did he just say to you?

 

“Nevermind, I know exactly who’s gonna be teaching you at Hogsfuck,” he waves off his last statement as if it wasn’t at least somewhat offensive.

 

“And who might that be?”

 

“That Doll gal, she ain’t that bad to be honest,” he smirks which is the most emotion he’s shown that isn’t pure rage, “can’t for the life of me remember ‘er name but it sounded like Pornmum.”  

 

“Ugh,” you sigh.

 

Your first plane ride is going to be the longest one.

 


	2. MOGAS (Memo of Garbage and Shouting)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mainly just memo, this chapter consists of arguing and teasing.

ghostyTrickster [GT] opened memo “hogwashians unite!”

T GT: ok, i arrived super early cause dad is all about being more gentlemanly or what ever.

GT: but i’m here and i can’t see anyone else who looks like their boarding our train.

GT: if anyone is heading to the school for magic, please feel free to say it!

carcinoGeneticist [CG] responded to memo

CG: IT’S CALLED *HOGWARTS* YOU FUCKING MORON

CG: AND IF YOU WERE OBSERVANT ENOUGH, YOU’D BE ABLE TO SPOT ME ON MY PHONE RIGHT NOW.

CG: I AM LITERALLY WALKING TOWARDS YOU RIGHT NOW.

GT: oh!

GT: well, i found karkat at least.

CG: AT LEAST?

CG: AT FUCKING LEAST???

CG: NOT EVEN A SIMPLE HELLO IN REAL LIFE, NO I DON’T DESERVE SUCH A FUCKING LUXURY.

CG: HONESTLY, IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO NOT BE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS EGBERT?

CG: BECAUSE I GET THE FEELING IT’S IN YOUR DNA.

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] responded to memo

GA: Hello Karkat.

GA: Hello John.

GA: I have momentarily begun to borrow Kanaya’s phone on account of my own going flat due to the power cutting out and my mother being too drunk to fix it.

CG: OF FUCKING COURSE.

GA: I would just like to inform everyone that Kanaya and I have departed from our respective train stations and are now on our way to the meetup location.

GA: We should arrive in roughly five to ten minutes depending on if we decide to walk a little slower due to sore legs from a two hour ride of sitting still in one location.

GA: That is all.

GT: it’s fine!

GT: take as much time as you need to, i’m pretty sure the train is going to be arriving in like half an hour.

GT: actually, probably longer knowing trains.

caligulasAquarium [CA] responded to memo

CA: wwhy has nobody corrected this fuckin trainwwreck of a memo yet 

CA: its majyyk

CA: not magic

CA: magic is bullshit and fake

GT: sor ree!

CG: YOU SHOULD BE IF A FUCKING HIPSTER DOUCHE IS THE FIRST TO CORRECT YOU. 

GT: why didn’t you tell me it was wrong then? 

CG: BECAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION AND WALKING ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE JUST FOR YOU TO ARGUE WITH ME ONLINE.

CG: IF YOU DON’T TALK TO ME IRL RIGHT FUCKING NOW, I’M SHUTTING DOWN THIS MEMO AND SMASHING YOUR PHONE AFTERWARDS.

GT: okay jeez! 

GT: one sec... 

twinArmageddons [TA] responded to memo

TA: 2up fucker2.

TA: ju2t ariived and ready two diie.

TA: man, thii2 wa2 2o poorly planned out.

TA: who’2 fuckiing iidea wa2 thii2?

CG: JOHN’S.

CG: THAT’S WHY IT WAS SO POORLY EXECUTED TOO.

TA: ii wa2 goiing two 2ay iit wa2 your2 for that exact rea2on.

CG: HA HA, VERY FUNNY.

CG: JUST GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE.

TA: where ii2 here?

CG: I AM ACTUALLY JUMPING UP AND DOWN CALLING YOUR NAME YOU, ASSWIPE.

TA: oh there you are.

TA: ii couldn’t 2ee you behiind liiterally everyone el2e.

CG: LOW BLOW DUDE.

TA: that’2 2o you can hear iit.

CG: FUCK YOU CAPTOR.

GT: you were just yelling at me for not talking to you irl but now you’re literally arguing with sollux though text!

CG: SHUT UP, THIS IS DIFFERENT.

TA: what ever.

TA: ii’m goiing two go buy 2ome chiip2 or 2omethiing

TA: brb.

CG:YOU ASSHOLE.

gallowsCalibrator [GA] responded to memo

GA: JOHN TH1S W4S 4 M1ST4K3 >:/

GT: bluh! 

GT: i will salvage this garbage dump somehow!

GA: 1D ST4RT BY B4NN1NG SHOUTY 1F 1 W3R3 YOU

GA: TH3N W3D B3 P34C3 FROM H1S OBNOX1OUS R4MBL1NG

CG: FUCK OFF TEREZI.

CG: I CAN PRACTICALLY HEAR YOUR SCRATCHY LAUGH FROM HERE.

GA: TH4TS B3C4US3 1M R1GHT B3H1ND SOLLUX 1N TH3 SN4CK L1N3

GT: can’t you guys just pm each other instead?

GT: this isn’t the place to talk about this kind of stuff.

CG: WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT THEN?

CG: HOW EVERYTHING’S PERFECT IN EGGFUCK LAND WHERE HE GETS CAKE EVERY DAY AND THEN WHINES ABOUT IT FOR NO FUCKING REASON??

GT: alright

GT: i didn’t want to have to do this but you’re getting banned.

GT banned CG from responding to memo

GT: there!

GT: much better.

GT: now if we could get back to the topic at hand, that’d be great.

GT: i heard that we get taught by different people based on what powers we have, which is kinda cool.

gardenGnostic [GG] responded to memo

GG: yeah i heard something like that too!

GT: oh hey jade!

GG: hi john!!

GT: how was the plane ride?

GG: pretty shitty to be honest :/

GT: aww what happened?

GG: well......

GT: HSJERBFSMBIDLSRT

GT: DMALKEWF SD[‘

GT: E’,MEDNFDSUhf7BNELKMFRR48G23UQBH

GT: KRKNFDDS HEGGR OFF OFGT MEWRFT H3204I5JHFD,MS CV fhugtrierjnfFT

GG: are you okay?

GT: KARKAFfeldkfw&^£^£&YUNJK

GT: WHSTYDYGFSV NOEWF FFBGUEIISHgtu3764trt3y.nbgvgs,,,,,

GT: *w9qygryfwuhBBHenas_ eifuwfhhbhejam8765415263uj2m3 s y6L =ko9jh 

GT: GH3

GT: DNFUEWIOKS FHGHDS_ DSJ--- DN FHE^%$#N ZSA bhygdvbFJBN BEQAWS

You suppose you’re not going to get a proper answer out of him for a while but you have to admit, it is pretty hilarious to think about them fighting over the same phone. You watch the jumbled text scroll down the screen and sip your juice inside the small mini restaurant near the station. You’ve already arranged everything with the tickets (even if it did require help from other adults waiting in line) and are now waiting patiently for Rose and Kanaya to find you and bring you to the train safely.

You look up from your phone to see if they’re close but all you see is heads of other adults and newspaper articles blocking the windows along with the cigarette smoke and hot beverages pooling with steam. You check the time on your phone, you think you have enough time for a hot chocolate.

You pull your wallet out and make your way to the counter to order but yet again, the counter top is too tall for you to reach properly. Who designed this? It’s absolutely awful.

Maybe you are just a bit miffed about the plane ride and Slick and everything and good lord, are you tired.

“Excuse me? Mister?” you try to call to the counter man and wave your mitten hands as high up as you can.

“Oh, hey kid,” he says after looking around for the voice.

You’re getting a little sick of people saying ‘Hey kid, kid, girl, little girl, little kid’ and all that shit to you. But you try to suppress your want to shout at them for risk of not getting your goddamn drink.

“Can I get a hot chocolate please?”

“Sure kid,” fucking stop saying kid, “do you want marshmallows or nah?”

“What’s a marshmallow?” you ask. John’s talked about them once or twice but you’ve never really asked him about it for whatever reason. You guess you just assumed that it had something to do with cake and that was the end of it.

“Seriously?” the man says, his voice makes it sound like he’s got an eyebrow raised but again, you can’t tell because of how high this thing is.

“Fine, just give me a marshmallow or whatever,” you huff and fish for cash.

“2.21,” he says and holds out his palm like a brat. Fucker isn’t even looking at his hand, just looking out the window like he has other places to be.

You fish out the right cash, take the change, wait at the table and open up Pesterchum again.

Oh! A message from Dave.

turntechGodhead began pestering gardenGnostic 

TG: fuck 

TG: k im freaking out 

TG: cant find anyone anywhere 

TG: wheres the train station 

TG: fuck uck uck fuck fuck guk duck fuck fuck fuck fuc kfuckfuckgguckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck 

GG: dave calm down!! 

GG: where are you now? 

GG: dave??? 

TG: no clue but i think i found someone familiar 

GG: who? 

GG: dave are you okay?? 

GG: dave?! 

TG: Hello Jade 

GG: who is this? 

TG: Do Not Be Afraid 

TG: Its Kanaya 

GG: oh thank god 

TG: Dave Is Fine 

TG: Although If By Fine You Mean Covered Head To Toe In Dirt Mud Sticks And Leaves Then You Have A Fucked Up View Of Fine 

GG: is he hurt? 

GG: did someone try to hurt him?? D: 

TG: Ill Let You Judge For Yourself 

GG: ? 

TG: Look Out Of The Window

You look up from your phone and turn your head to see out the foggy glass. You stand up, the loud wooden chair scraping along the floor and making a loud noise that earns at least three head turns.

You pretend not to care by shuffling to the window and wiping away the condensation. There you see Rose waving to you while accompanied by Kanaya picking out stray leaves and twigs on a clearly embarrassed Dave.

You wave back while hopping from foot to foot, giggling as Dave swings his head to face you in a look reminiscent of a gif Nepeta once sent you. You think it was from ‘The Office” or something similar. 

Swinging open the door, you greet the three of them with excited childish jumping and hugs. Of course, the three of them aren’t particularly well crafted in the ways of hugs with all of them being more than a little touch starved.

Then again, that’s coming from someone who lives on an island with nothing but a dog and a stuffed corpse.

Dave almost squirms out of your embrace but you just hug him tighter to ensure no escape.

“Damn Harley,” he practically wheezes, “learn to loosen up a little bit. You might actually be killing me.” 

“Oh, but I was so worried about you!” you finally let go of him to let him breathe again.

Dave shoots you a look but you can’t tell what it is because of those goddamn shades.

“Little girl with the hot chocolate,” a voice inside calls.

Oh god fucking-

“Finally,” you sigh, trying not to scream.

“You know,” Rose looks over Kanaya’s shoulder to view the phone, “a hot chocolate or a cup of tea really couldn’t hurt. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“I suppose but what of the rest of them?” Kanaya says.

Rose shrugs looks down at Kanaya’s phone, which she is still holding for some reason. The text from the group chat just goes down and down, seemingly forever. Nothing but grey text with cursing and all caps insults and blue key smashing on every other line. You think Terezi might have stolen someone’s phone along the line because it looks like Karkat’s typing with numbers now.

“They can wait a while longer,” Rose shrugs with a sly smile.


End file.
